The last 6 months have taught me a lot about spending time with the Lord. This has been labeled many different thing by man over the years: quiet time, devos, whatever it may be.
What I know is that for so much of my life I saw it as a chore. It’s what Christians are supposed to do. Wake up early, grab a coffee, read a devotional, read a passage of scripture, journal, pray, and start your day. As long as I said I did it, I felt good enough. I’m not really sure what I felt good enough for. If I was trying to fit into this specific mold or if I was trying to impress the Lord. But I know that if I woke up and read a verse, I felt like I did my job.
Praise Jesus I was freed from this a long time ago. Around junior year of high school I really started to cherish my time with the Father. I found myself in my school parking lot, I was the first one there so I could sit in my car and pray over my school and dive into the word. When COVID hit I had so much more time to really be with Him and it changed my life. Last summer I would radically pray on my drive to work.
But what I didn’t realize is that if I had a morning I didn’t have my quiet time, I automatically assumed I couldn’t have a good day. If I slept in, there was grace for me needing more sleep, but not enough to still have an incredible day before me. (I’ll get back to this.)
I always thought having this quiet time would be 10 times easier on the mission field. Let me tell ya, it’s not. Probably even harder actually.
Guatemala taught me a lot about what it even means to spend time with the Lord. We have put it into this box of waking up early and having this “quiet time”. While waking up early to dwell with Him is cherished and beautiful, it is a man made expectation placed on us that can actually bring a lot of guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy when we fail to do it the way we’re “supposed to”. In Guate, I had a leader challenged me to start practicing spending time with the Lord 24 hours a day. He’s with me at ministry, He’s with me facetiming my family, He’s with me on the bus, so why am I only in communion with Him for an hour every morning? So I started praying at random moments of the day. I started journalling when we had a couple free minutes during ministry at the church. I started worshipping and dancing and stopped seeing my time with the kids as separate from that specific hour every morning. It changed so much for me.
Samaritans purse was one of the best two weeks of my race, but also some of the mot challenging. I woke up every morning at 4:40 am and went to the cafeteria to radically pray, journal, and pick up scripture to lean on that day. Honestly, those weeks wouldn’t have been the same if I hadn’t fought my physical tiredness and spiritual battles in that way. Yet, it wasn’t from a place of obligation.
So when I got to South Africa, I found myself trying to fix myself every morning by the end of my time with the Lord. If I woke up struggling with fear, by the end of my quiet time I had to be completely fearless. If I woke up feeling insecure, I had to be completely secure in who I was by the end. If I woke up feeling tired, I wanted to be at 100% energy by the end.
This brings me back to the feeling that if I didn’t have this time in the morning, my day was ruined. It was as if I had to fix myself before the day started or have the Lord fix me. This meant I was getting up at 5 am Monday-Friday after full days of ministry and nights of worship and bible class to “fix myself”.
Yeah. Exhausting, right?
A day in His courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. A moment in His presence can change everything. He is not just my fixer. He saved my whole life and eternity! He is my Father and Friend. My ever present help in times of trouble. He is there to sit with me and cry with me and laugh with me. He is there to talk and there to listen.
Although sometimes finding the time to get to a quiet space and be with Him takes sacrifice (sleep, outings with friends, netflix, you name it), it is meant to be anything but exhausting and draining. My goal is not perfection, for if I was perfect I wouldn’t need Him.
So! The mornings that might not look like that picture perfect quiet time don’t define my day. I get to dwell with Him 24/7 in a million different ways.
I’ll never have it fully figured out. But what I do know is He longs to sit with me. Not as my fixer, but as my Father. He longs to be with you too. Never let skipping a morning or a piece of your Bible reading plan define your day.
May the outcome of your day be determined by what He says about you, thinks of you, and did for you. For all of those things are never changing.
Go spend some time with Him! Whatever that may look like. May we step out of the boxes we once put Him and ourselves into.
Bye for now,
MG
The Lord used your blog to remind that my asking and reaching out to him all day is so important even if I don’t have that “time” in the morning before the day begins. He loves us and talks to us and walks with us ALL day everyday. Thank you for allowing the Lord to speak through you. Prayers for you!!!
Oh Mary Grace, what a sweet reminder I need on a regular basis! How quickly we are to put God in one box or another when all He wants is our hearts, our continual presence – every moment of every day. And how beautiful when we allow Him to bust our boxes and reveal His glory and majesty, bit by bit, day after day, even in the mundane. Yes, better is one day in His courts than thousands elsewhere.