hi 🙂
this holiday season has been very different. and i know the next one will be even more different. every holiday/birthday/event since september 1 has been a series of “oh mg, next year you won’t be here!” or “ah! next year at this time you’ll be in _____ country!!”
for all my racers that have applied before the holidays, you probably all understand the feeling. it becomes bittersweet. knowing so far ahead of time you most likely won’t be in the place you are most familiar with next christmas is a sure way to really savor each moment. but…it is also a sure way to bring extreme expectations and pressure to those moments. wanting everything to be perfect. wanting everyone to be perfectly happy and joyful and do every holiday activity. feeling pressure for not taking in certain moments. sitting around at thanksgiving and realizing that the next year you won’t be at that table with those people.
soooo i’m here to tell you what i learned through it! and how savoring the moments without high expectations is so important. this can apply to life in general, not just a future gap year student.
morgan harper nichols wrote that “it is okay if family looks different in this season and you find joy in new traditions and peace in the smallest things.”
i don’t know what you are walking through right now, but i want you to know that it is okay to release expectations, feel your feelings, and find joy in the small things. although it is hard, it is okay for family to look different throughout the years. blooming is a process, but don’t turn away from it because of that. growth is necessary for transformation, and what is not transformed is transferred. take it day by day, each small little triumph is a huge deal to Him. we serve a long term God who is not in a rush. don’t let pressure and expectations of certain times of the year make you forget His goodness. my christmas in guatemala with my squad is going to look much different than sitting around my christmas tree with my family, but that does not make either any less sweet and it does not make my God any less good just because the seasons will change.
in order to release my expectations of a “perfect holiday season”, i had to learn to find joy in the small stuff. and i know this is something that is said a lot, “find joy in the little things” but when we truly learn to soak up the little moments He places before us, it changes everything. i had to understand that i will always be growing, and so will those around me. i cannot fix everyone, i cannot make every situation perfect. i am call to be a peacemaker, not a peacekeeper (as my sweet momma continually reminds me).
it was also the process of learning that holidays are not all about me. take time to intentionally listen to each thing someone has to say, have grace for that one family member that makes you late for the christmas eve service, let your sibling get their food first, honor it if something you said hurts someone’s feelings, help clear the table or be willing to do the menial tasks with joy. it’s just so much more tender and sweet this way.
learning that the holidays (and life) is not all about me, also taught me that i cannot be everything for everyone. i am me, you are you, and He says that is enough. it is not my job to be everything everyone wants me to be, but rather live my life following His direction and letting the love He pours into me flow through me, creating an outpour of love onto each person i encounter (family member or not). He says i am enough, and that is enough for me.
so yeah! i wonder what i will be writing to you this time next year as i will be in a new season, with new people, making new memories. happy thanksgiving, merry christmas, and happy 2021! so thankful for the life He has given me, and the people He places before me.
i love youuuuuuu!
-mg
